Adjustment disorder. It basically means I don't like change and I can't cope with change very well. It's a temporary diagnosis usually. To be diagnosed you have to have experienced something that could affect how you handle your life and dealings. For me it was my parents cutting me off. And Silas taking his life. Figuring out who I am basically. Life stuffs. My psychiatrist also mentioned in one of our first meetings the words bipolar disorder. They haven't been brought up since. With the exception of one time when I had my meds adjusted too much in the wrong way. I had ultra rapid cycling symptoms. Id wake up in the morning and not know if I'd be the happiest kid alive or want to kill myself. There were a few days I did nothing but lay in bed and sleep. All day. I was so depressed I almost checked myself into a hospital. I had a feeling it was my meds though. When I was in my manic times of this spiral id take my ambien and stay up all night. Not sleepy at all. Not really being productive just hanging out.
I also did a lot of binge eating. I ate cane sugar and powder sugar straight from the bag. I ate a dozen donuts in a few hours. Which is totally out of character for me. I had never experienced these "mood swings" before this and I haven't experienced them since I got my meds readjusted. That being said I do usually experience seasonal depression with my worst month being October. I will usually lay around all day and not so anything productive. I don't like myself and usually want to die. After the time changes and the days get longer I get better.
Anyways I'm no therapist and this is my only opinion and experiences. And I'll stop this ramble fest.
No comments:
Post a Comment